Would you still be friends if you were treated this way?
So what’s all this business about having a positive relationship with food? Most people I’ve seen don’t even know one exists, let alone have a relationship that could benefit from a little nutrition counselling.
Are you needing a greater understanding of the sorts of relationships that are possible with food?
Below are three contrasting scenarios which will help you to see what sort of relationship or ‘friend’ you could be to your food. Why does a positive relationship matter anyway…because it affects many of our relationships. The one we have with ourselves (self-esteem), body (body image) and other people. Basically, good relationships with food help us to do all the wonderful things we do each day and lead a happy and fulfilling quality of life.
Friend A – Negative
Have you met my friend, Food? I really shouldn’t introduce you to Food as she’s not the healthiest to be around. I think she makes me fat, bloated, guilty, sad, insecure, whingy…(you get the idea)…even when she looks at me!
I don’t like catching up with her. However, I just can’t seem to stay away, even though I know she’s a bad influence on me. I don’t know what it is, but she makes me want to be around her. I try to stay away for a week or so, but I always seem to come back grovelling and apologising for being a bad friend.
She really does have a charm that I can’t resist. She really does make me a better person when I see her from time to time, slow down, and actually enjoy her company.
When I find I spend too much time with Food, that’s when thing gets messy. I don’t seem to enjoy her company anymore. I feel so worthless and guilty. It leaves me wishing I just stayed away from Food and focused on my work. I just got so desperate to see her.
I often decide to keep my distance, even though I know she means well. She really is not that bad and is satisfying in small amounts.
I’ve been so good lately, so I really don’t want Food in my life…right now. I’ll be able to stay on track with all the things I’m focusing on, if I can just stop thinking about Food and how I’m missing out. I can’t afford the distraction of such good company.
Anyways, I leave you two to chat. I am off again. Food, please do not bother me again.
Friend B – Neutral
Have you met my friend, Food? Food has been such a good friend to me over the past few decades. She has provided nourishment for my personal growth and development. She’s kept me healthy.
Food has provided me with so much pleasure and fun, which I have valued. Even when times were tough, I never really thought to go to Food for her help. Lately, I am seeing Food a lot more. Things in my life have been hectic, and there have been times when I just needed someone to debrief with and listen. I’ve noticed my other friends have been talking to Food, so I thought I’d talk to her too.
The support Food has been providing to me has increased. During times of sadness, boredom, and even when I’m happy…Actually, I can see I’ve relied on my good friend Food more than usual. I wonder what she must think of me. I hope I haven’t bombarded her too much with all my problems. I do value the relationship I have with Food and hope I haven’t affected the way Food sees me.
I think my problem started a few months ago when I started my new job. In the kitchen at lunchtime, there’s a lot of Food talk. Food gets talked about a lot! I didn’t know why initially, as she is lovely and not controversial at all. There were many perspectives and opinions being thrown around. It made me think of the relationship I have with Food. What was wrong with me? I didn’t experience these issues. Maybe I wasn’t paying attention. This was the moment I decided to take notice. I started to question the little things Food did, which I previously enjoyed. I then started to see how these things were problems for others and how they were becoming problems for me.
I’m glad my work colleagues highlighted the ‘truth’ about Food. I don’t want to end up like most of my colleagues having major problems with Food.
Food, you are a dear friend to me. I thank you for the support you have provided to me over the years. For now, I need a little time away. I look forward to seeing you again soon. xoxo
Friend C – Positive
Have you met my friend, Food? She is the most wonderful friend I have. We are so in tune with each other. I know what she is going to say next and she often finishes my sentences too! I’m so thankful I have found such a true friend.
Food and I met when we were babies. Can you believe it?!?! I’ve known her for 30 years. Food has always been there, just at the right times of the day (and night), in just the right support. She knows exactly what I need. Always. I have never doubted this. She has made me so happy and healthy.
There have been times when we’ve had some augments, but that really came down to me questioning things that I was exposed to through my readings, in the media and from what I heard. I’m sorry to have burdened you with my stupid, stupid questions. Actually, these questions weren’t stupid at all, as they helped me to realise and affirm that what we have going on is so true and strong. If we continue to nurture our relationship we will go the distance and achieve big things.
Food, I love you. I respect everything you are and have been, and how you have made me a stronger and wiser person. I will be forever in debt to you and look forward to the next 30 years of fun, pleasure, nourishment and good health!
Sorry to get sidetracked about talking about my wonderful friend! Would you like to join us for dinner?
Do you really know Food? How much judgement do you pass on Food? What sort of friend do you want to be to your food? Can you see the impact Food has on your body and your relationships?
Do you identify with one of these three relationships most of the time, or do you sit somewhere in between? Which relationship do you want?
What stood out to you? I’d love to hear your comments.
Please share with your friends and family so they too can see the value of Food.
If you are looking for a supportive community filled with like-minded people striving to improve their health in a compassionate way, come join us in the Nutrition Empowered Mums Facebook Group.
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